Welcome to my Haven!!!

The man in the mirror

2011-03-16T13:07:00.012+05:30

"What is wrong with you? Why don't you sleep?" I asked the man in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and face was pale. He was certainly sick.

"Don't you know? The reason is you" The reply was stern.

''Me? What did I do?" I asked amazed.

"You promised me once that we will fly" was the reply.

"Fly! Huh?"

"Yes fly. Fly to a distant land. You always wanted to take the road less travelled by. Remember, you were a dreamer, but now you are settled in your little world."

"May be yes, but isn't it safe, warm and cozy here?" I asked the man almost pleading.

He laughed for a while and then said me almost mocking."Lately aren't you stuck in the web of mediocre and monotonous life? Your sense of safety are your fears and apprehensions in disguise. In last two years when was the last time you actually fought for something. You stood up for something, or challenged yourself for just one thing. You never come out of your comfort zone."

"That is not true. I am grateful for what I have got, and I am happy for that." I replied

"You should be grateful for what you have got.. always.but haven't you been lucky all this while? All I want you to do is open your arms again. For once, feel the sunshine and fresh air. Break the chains of mediocrity. Give yourself up completely for something without consequences, instead of giving up. You are not living unless and until you are ready to die for something or someone.For once, I want you to die for something. For once, I want you to live.

The man in the mirror was right. He had been my best admirer and worst critic. I had been lucky, and yes, I never stretched myself to the full potential in last two years. I never ran an extra mile. I always played safe, and never took the risk. I had been trying to survive,did pretty well, but I forgot to live. For once now, I want to rise against all the odds & do something, which I always assumed unachievable. I don't care How I fare, I will be glad I tried. Years later, I would like to have a memory which I will always be proud of.

The sun had risen. It has been a long time since I had seen a rising sun. The first rays of sun illuminated the outer world & my inner world too. I felt enlightened and blessed after a long time.

And the man in the mirror, He was smiling for the first time in weeks.

A walk to remember

2011-02-21T01:18:00.017+05:30

(I know title is too cliche, but I couldn't think of any apt title than this. Suggestions and feedback are most welcome.)

'Bang bang bang' on his room door on a lazy Sunday morning..

He could hear his mother yelling something, knocking his door furiously. Opening his one eye half, he looked at the old walk clock in his room, it chimed ten, five minutes before. What could be a possible reason of waking him up at 10 AM on a Sunday morning? His mother yelled louder, all he could grab out of it was 'girl on telephone'.

These words rang in his mind for a while, may be looking for a sense. Soon, sense prevailed. A girl had called up for him on the newly installed telephone at home. He rushed to drawing room and picked up the receiver, overwhelming with curiosity, he said: 'Hello?'

and a sweet voice replied: 'Hi! its me, did I wake you up?'

its her!!!, She.. She has called up. This sentence reverberated in his mind for a while.. Oh! Damn! it.. SHE has called up. She is the most beautiful girl in the whole BMC quarters of Bombay who lives in B-40. Her father got transferred here 3 months ago and now she is one of the privileged entry to his most happening gang of whole colony, entry to which is close to impossible.

He replied:'Oh! Hi.. No not at all. I woke up an hour ago', trying to abate his excitement cum elation. All attempts were futile though.

She: 'You busy?'

(Busy! Not even my new Wega video game can keep me busy now.)

He: 'Nah! nothing busy as such', tried to sound casual. Failed again.

She: 'Care to go for a little walk?'

(Little! I am ready to walk with you forever.)

He: 'Sure, where?'

She: 'Does that matter?, I will be waiting for you at the community center gate in 5 mins'

He: 'Sure, catch you there'.

They disconnected the call and he walked back to his room still half believing, listening faintly to his mother gossiping to neighbor- 'Look at the kids today, I don't even know how to use this duck machine. It is just 3 weeks old and my son receives calls from his girl friends, My father was so strict that....'

He quickly brushed his teeth, washed his face, gelled his hair with oil, sprayed his best perfume, & donned his best polka dot shirt and bell bottom pants. This took him 3 minutes and 20 seconds. He still has 1 minute and 40 seconds to reach to gate which is in front of his house.

She was already waiting for him at the gate, wearing a light brown color salwar kameez, which somehow matched with color of her eyes. Her wet hair carefully clutched with a butterfly clutch, leaving a few strands to touch her cheeks. As always, her eyes sparkled with cheerfulness and mischief, and smile radiant enough to subdue the February morning sun.

Spellbound with her beauty (Damn! She is gorgeous) all he could utter was: 'Hey'

She: 'Hey! thanks for coming. I was looking for some company to walk to grocery store, and first person I could think of was you. I know it sounds stupid, as it is just two blocks away.'

He: 'My pleasure' (First person you could think of is me?, It is certainly my pleasure.)

'Well it still is stupid, let us take the walk-way of community garden, it is longer way' she said winking at him with mischievous smile.

He struggled to start conversation, his logical mind rejected every single thought which popped up in head. Dude! think of something better.. Soon, he lost the battle with his logic and his mind got blank. All he prayed now was that let her come up with something.

After an awkward silence, she said: 'Hmm.. I liked your last evening performance in the drama. It was really great. you are certainly a good actor'

'Thanks!' he replied, but his voice couldn't hide his amazement,confusion and happiness, disproving his acting skills.
'So are you a Beatles fan?' He asked, surprising himself, as the question came out without any premeditation, but he was glad he asked her.
'A big one!, but how do you know?' She asked, more with her eyes. Damn! her eyes.
'The Beatles fever hand band in your hand. I have the one in my hand as well.' showing her his yellow band proudly.
'Oh! great, so which song is your favorite?' She asked, this time in a teasing manner like asking a trick question.
It was a trick question, indeed. He pondered for a while, which one would be her favourite.
Which one which one which one.. is it 'Let it be','Hey Jude' or 'A day in the life'
' Hmm... can't choose one, I like Let it be, hey jude and A day in the life, but even yesterday and strawberry fields are aweosome.' He replied.

'Yeah! same with me.' She said with a smile, may be applauding his intelligence for the answer

They had reached the grocery store. She bought the stuff you need to make the cake, and he bought two dairy milks. He offered one to her.

As they were walking back, eating chocolate, he looked at her with corner of his eyes, and to his amazement she was looking at him too. He looked again, but this time straight in her eyes, all he could find was innocence and sense of purity. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He tried to sink in the moment, tried to fathom that mystic feeling he is having right now. He never felt so alive in last 18 years.

He remembered he had read somewhere - 'Five senses we have, five senses we use, five senses we lose, when we fall in love.'

He checked his senses one by one:

Sense of sight: He had walked this walkway thousands of time since his childhood, but he never found the roses on sideways and butterfly on them so beautiful. He looked around, colors enthralled him today, the blue sky with white clouds, the green park and yellow buildings the sunshine, everything captivated him. He always saw the children playing in the park, but he never noticed that smile on their faces. His sense of sight has changed the way it used to be. Check positive

Sense of smell: He took a deep breath. He could smell her wet hair, and he remembers no fragrance as pleasant as this. Check postive

Sense of hearing: He could hear the chirping of birds, the distant traffic, the morning cacophony of community market. All was music to his ears today. Check positive

Sense of touch: He closed his eyes and felt the cool breeze like never before. The steep walkway had made them touch each others hand many times in last few minutes, and all he could feel was bliss. Check positive

Sense of taste: Dairy milk never tasted that good. He is sure, it never tasted that good. Check positive

All five checks positive..I am in love, He said to himself. He said it again.. Damn it! I am in love with this girl. Yes, She is the one.

He realized they had reached her home. A sense of regret dawned on him. She must be thinking I am too boring and dumb. I should have at least talked to her more, if not amuse her or make her laugh. May be next time, she will ask some one else for the walk.

'I am sorry' He said, again without thinking. He expected a long 'why?', along with same puzzling but beautiful eyes. But she amazed him more this time.

'Shoo.. nooo! Don't spoil it. This is the way I wanted this walk to be. I didn't speak either. Does it make you feel better that silence and confusions were mutual?'

'It certainly does!..' He said, with a sigh of relief. is she an angel or magician, she charms people and read their mind too. They stood there looking in each others eye for a while, or may be for eternity, and this time silence was comforting and pleasing.

'I should leave now, I have to make the cake, it is my brother's birthday today. There is a party at home at 5PM, and I will be inviting everyone of our gang.' She said breaking the spell.
'Sure... I wish I could explain..' He almost mumbled.
'You don't have to.. I feel the same' She smiled and left. He stood there watching her till she dissapeared behind the door. Then He left for home, flying or floating in elation.
'I will be waiting for you', He heared her voice again. He looked back and she was standing in her home balcony waving at him.

After 25 Years (Today)
He hasn't forgotten a single moment of that walk even after 25 years today. The image of her waiting at the gate or waving at him from the balcony window, is still fresh in his memory, as if it was yesterday. After that walk, they took many walks together, married each other and decided to walk together for life.

' Why are you up so early and where are you lost?' She startled him out of his daydream.
Here she is! Even after 25 years, she is still the same, gorgeous and beautiful in pink saree. Her black wet hair shining, her smile radiant enough to subdue the February morning sun and eyes with same michief and innocence he had noticed 25 years ago.

'Happy 25th anniversary, dear!' He said.

She stared at him in disbelief with same puzzled but beautiful look in her eyes and then she bursted out laughing. 'My dear lovely husband, age has certainly taken over you, and your mind has grown feeble. Our anniversary is in November, and we will be celebrating 23rd this year not the 25th and by the way today is 21st February 2011' she said in a mocking manner.

'Exactly, today is 21st February 2o11, and 25 years ago we took our first walk together. The walk which I will never forget. I fell in love with you on that day.' He said with a content smile.'

'oh my... Yes.. the silent walk to the grocery store, through the community garden walkway. How could I forget it. It has been 25 years since that day. Hard to believe. We have come a long a long way. Happy 25th anniversary to you too.' She said coming closer to him.

'Yes..! We certainly have, and I would love to walk with you for the rest of the life, and more lives. Thank you for everything.' He said, kissing her on the forehead.

Tears trickled through her eyes, and she said smiling-'Noo.. don't spoil it by saying thank you. I always wanted it to be that way.'

(Work of imagination with ingrediants of reality)

Cheerio :)
Ravi

Its simple yet complicated, and complicated yet simple

2010-12-29T03:26:00.009+05:30

Few moments and memories of life are indelible. I vaguely remember my time in Kota, but can't forget some of the memories of those days. In 2004. Being an IIT coaching institute student, we had to take admission in a dummy school to get our school education without attending it. Later part of that year, rules got stringent and school was made compulsory for that session. There were more than 2500 'dummy' dumb students (Some prospective IITians), in the std 12th, divided in 45 sections. My section had 9 Ravi, and the whole class of 60 students had the name starting with 'R'.

Going to school was just ceremonial, and so was the teaching. Those were fun & clamorous lectures in days of serious brainstorming preparation of fierce battle of IIT. Attendance was never an issue, as girl-boy ratio was whopping 3:4, in comparison to 1:10 in coaching classes. Poor 'hormone tortured-female deprived' boys HAD to attend those lectures, and in light of class 10th science textbook, I can vouch, girls had the similar reasons.

I always used to take a middle bench, as last bench activities were too conspicuous and monitored by some 'dummy' teacher, and front benches were reserved for people more geeky than me, who used to finish the coaching assignments there. Since, I had nothing to do, I often used to read some interesting detective novels of Agatha Christie or Sidney Sheldon. (I had fallen in love with those books at that time) Often, a couple, a girl and boy used to sit on a seat before me, and at times we used to exchange stationary, notes and smiles. They were inseparable, and always fighting.
"Kutte, That is my pen you are writing with" or "Chudel, Pani ki bottle dena".

One day, after looking at the book I was reading, Boy said "Death of the Nile by Christie, This one is my favorite". Then, we three had long discussion of our favourite books, and this is how we became friends. There are some people, you just meet and then there is some immediate and inexplicable bonding, like you were destined to meet. Following that day, and for the next two months, we often used to sit together, work in labs together or roam in the school campus togther. I often felt that I am being "Kabab ki Haddi" and they used to reply- "kabab toh tu hai, Haddi toh hum hai". They were one strange unique couple. They used to fight each other, for each other. There was always a hidden care, behind every attack. like

Ladki, Where is your sweater? I hate you coughing, and sneezing and then walking with me with your full of ego, running nose.
or
Mote Khale, Dont skip your meal, your body is too fat to get more fat.

Soon, We took our exams, some we failed, some we cleared, got admissions in engineering colleges, and ultimately I lost contact with them. They both luckily got college in same city.

In Diwali 2006, I got a call on my home phone. It was from both of them. We coincidentally met in 2008 in Bhopal, and then stayed in touch over the years.

A year and two months later, 18th Feb 2012 will be a very special date. Both of them will be getting married to each other. They were neighbors, went to school together, lived in same city for graduation, been best friends for years, and now decided to get married. Over the years, their relationship has been a roller coaster ride. Their relationship had many statûs over the time...

Childhood friends.
I am going to marry her/him someday.
School Friends.
Best Friends.
We are just Friends.
I love you.
Oh! just beep off
Who are you? Do I even know you?
Best Friends (Again)
We are Just Friends. (Again)
I love him, but you know what, I hate him more.
Its complicated.
Its complicated yet simple and simple yet complicated.
Don't you think we are going too fast?

On their engagement day, I asked them, How was the journey from Kutte!! that's my pen! to will you marry me? and the reply was 'It wasn't will you marry me, it was, will you marry me Bastard!! you know what best explains our relationship is, we were best friends, we are best friends, and we will be best friends forever! Its very simple yet complicated and complicated yet simple.'

Yes! actually nothing has changed, they are still the same when I met them the very first time. They grew up together, and they are going to get old together.We all wish for that one best friend, with whom you can share your passions passionately, fears fearlessly, and regrets without any regrets. With whom, you can be just youself.

If you have that one best friend, you are very lucky, and if you don't have, hope you get lucky!!

Cheerio
Ravi

Princess of Casablanca and love

2010-10-18T21:32:00.013+05:30

We often meet some people in life, with whom, no matter what, you never agree. There is some inexplicable reason, or some ideologies clash, which create some enigmatic repulsion for that person. There was one such girl ( Princess of Casablanca, there is a long story behind the name) in my class during school. Her predilection to appear 'different' was so strong that in trail of that, she never made good friends. She was the type who is called 'spoilsport'.Marring other people's pleasure gave her immense pleasure. She never made her decisions in the context of right or wrong, good or bad, instead she made her decisions which made her look different. Like any other normal school kid, and unlike her, I had some really good friends in school, and I remember her being the cynosure of our group discussions, of course in negative mode. Few days back she found me on Facebook (Yeah! Hail Facebook). After exchange of few 'hi's, and our current lives, for few days, this is what she sent me on chat one day:

"You are also in Delhi na? lets meet up, it will be fun! what do u say?"

After staring on my mobile screen for a while, and trying to fathom what could be the possible motives of Princess of Casablanca seeing me. Before my logic would try and fail, another line popped up on screen:

"Arrey I want to meet you with my 'some one special' and want him to meet one of my good friends in school"

Wait! Wait.. Am I really talking to the girl whom I am assuming I am talking to? There must be something wrong with this Facebook app. Since when did Princess had some GOOD friends in school, apart from her some toady friends? And bigger question is why is she counting me as one of her GOOD friend? and the biggest question is She has a 'some one special' too? Oh! God.. This world is definitely going to end in 2012.

Before I could answer another line popped up:

"C'on reply me... "

In the spur of the moment, blended with the factor of curiosity I replied with an "OK".

A place and time was decided for the rendezvous.

After the conversation, I thought may be I am judging her, and I shouldn't.There were few incidents in school, which made every one of us believe she doesn't have heart. May be she has changed over the years. May be we were just kids back then, and now she has grown up to a mature and understanding lady. May be she has actually found her some one special, and love has done the miracle.. May be..

On one fine Saturday afternoon, we met for lunch. In just five minutes of our conversation, all my 'may be' s were broken like a shattering glass. She hasn't change, not even a tinge. The same air of arrogance and the same ardent urge to look different. In fifteen minutes, she was half-done with her saga of success. No wait 15 min - 50 seconds, 25 seconds she took to introduce me to her boyfriend and rest 25 secs for vice versa.

So, the world has not changed for the Princess of Casablanca, there were just a few changes in her story. She has actually become the queen now. She has turned out to be successful content writer, and she writes as a freelancer, which according to me and her, suits her character well. She has fallen in love (Not sure) with a common guy 'B1'.

B1 had been on a silent mode for all this while. He was surprisingly a guy every girl would like to be with. Handsome guy with winsome smile. Even though he was dating princess, that guy had brains because he kept trying to change the topics, so that its not the princess show all the time.He spoke little, but whatever he spoke was intelligent and smart.

The conversation moved from school,college to career and future goals, from childhood fantasies to the hobbies and interests. Soon we all had run out of topics, and then landed up in the 'Please Somebody Speak' zone. My curiosity had been urging me long, so I started:

Me: "So How long have you been together"?

Princess: "This September we completed 2 years".

Wow!! 2 years.. Damn it! there is definitely something wrong with the world. Am I seeing the wrong side of the coin? There is definitely something... Something I am missing.

Me: 2 years!! thats awesome..! what is the secret?

Princess: We two are made for each other. Can't you see it?

I wanted an answer from B1. I smiled to princess.

Me: What do you think B1?

B1: May be she was the only option I had! (B1 said smiling)

Princess: See.. I love his sense of humor.. Women like good sense of humor.

Did his answer had sense? According to you Man should have good sense of humor, but no sense at all.

Me:C'on.. Dude a serious answer. I am sure there had been many options for you.

Princess: Oye.. he loves me for many many reasons. Tell him B1.

Before he could answer

Waiter: Dessert Chocolate or butterscotch?

Me: Chocolate.

Princess: Even B1 loves chocolate. 3 chocolates. Thank you. Who loves butterscotch.

Don't get ideas, but at this moment my eyes met with B1's eyes, and there was hidden conversation.

My eyes to his: I guess you don't like chocolate!

His eyes to me: I love butterscotch, but she likes chocolate.

My eyes to his: Then order a butterscotch.

His eyes to me: Its okay

My eyes to his: dude.. I am supposed to talk to a girl this way!! cut it off!!

Princess: Where were we? hmm.. B1 was answering something.

Woman never miss or forget the chance where they can be praised. Trust me.

B1: Hmm.. there are many reasons. I can't explain. May be her mettle, the way she has handled her situations in the past, and came out as a winner.

Princess: We aren't getting into that.

And at that moment, Princess had to take a call. She excused herself. I had to confirm whether my eyes worked fine.

Me: So you don't like chocolate?

Replied with reluctance, B1: No, both are okay. May be I prefer butterscotch. But I can eat chocolate for her, Doesn't matter.

This dialog seems to be inspired by a crappy Bollywood movie.

Me: Don't tell me you never told her. Then there must be many things you like and never told her. She won't hate you for liking butterscotch or color black for instance.

B1: You don't know her. She has had a tough past. I know she can be overbearing and boasting at times, but there are reasons. She has changed over the years. She likes to be pampered. She has not had her share of life. She deserves it all.

At that moment, Don't know why those shattered pieces of glasses of 'may be' started to get glued again and my paradigm of princess started to change. Yes.. I never knew the whole story of
Princess of Casablanca. May be there were reasons why she was 'she' during school. So I was judging her, and B1 isn't the some common guy, he is the prince here, and madly in love with our fun killing villain of school.

Me: Dude.. You are getting me wrong, I just meant You are eluding her of the truth. She may deserve many things, but above all she deserves truth from you.

At this moment The princess returned.

Princess : Hmm What are you guys talking about?

B1: Nothing, eise hi

Princess: Enough about us, what about you? Have a girlfriend or still single?

Me: Just a single word suffice-'single'. I don't qualify for the many criteria.

B1:oh! Bull S**t! There are no criteria. That was a self-deprecating statement.

Princess: Oh! no there are.. many.. like sense of humor,He should be charming, understanding
handsome.. and the list goes on.But then when love takes over and all these criteria makes no sense. So wishing you all the best.

B1: Same here, wishing you luck.

Princess: I don't know why I invited you for the lunch. You see, we were not that good friends in school and even later. I just followed my heart.

Me: Ah! and I followed mine.

B1: There is always a reason.

Soon we bade each other good bye.
I have been a keen observer of the world around me. I might have missed love by inches, but it has always been around me. I have seen people talking in their smiles, speaking their heart with their eyes. I have seen jealousy and faith hand in hand. I have seen someone worrying whole night, for something stupid. I have seen a commerce student, studying the concepts of engineering to teach 'some one special' a day before exam. I have seen that 2AM urge to meet some one just because the other one is woken by a bad dream. I have seen the cherubic smiles on faces after separation of months. I have seen someone taking a 2 days journey just to meet other for just 4 hours. I have seen someone sparing even a single buck to buy gifts for other. I have seen the meaning in the cheerful bantering and annoying teasing comments.

Princess of Casablanca has actually found her true 'some one special', her prince. Prince just doesn't know that Love is more about acceptance than adjustments and sacrifices. And I am sure he will realize someday. And My part, Princess wasn't the villain of the story, It was my paradigm of her. And May be she is right, some day a girl would give up all her criterion for me.

and trust me .. I had that Eye conversation..!!

Cheerio :)
Ravi

Years Later!

2010-03-23T16:55:00.009+05:30

As we grow up, we meet lots and lots of people.. and as life moves on, roles of various people in our life flips, renewed, or totally removed (Course there are exceptions like family). Most of us lost touch with our best friends in school or with our childhood friends in our neighborhood.Hands of destiny plays the devious games like parents transfers, school changes etc. At one point of life they were most important to you and then they are just registered in your untouched part of brain, occupying tiny fragments of memory. Its obvious destiny plays the second trick, when our lives meet again at some cross roads. Out of no where, randomly.. the long lost friend who is not in your orkut and facebook account appears in front of you at unexpected places. Our already over occupied brain system suddenly fetches the untouched fragments and then hazy black and white images of our glorious past are retrieved with blend of nostalgia. Everything comes at standstill and you start reminiscing the old days. While shopping with a friend(F) at a mall, I saw a face of a girl just passed by.. and my brain system started working..

A query fired to my usually untouched part of brain- who is she?

and then scanning all the records, logs etc.. system returned..

"Sorry! NO RECORDS FOUND"

I said to myself- "No way I certainly know the face from some where."

F: Bhaiya.. kya baat hai? the girl just passed by.. and you certainly had a larger period of eye lock than usual. Waise She is really good!

Me: Yaar. I certainly know her from somewhere.. I just cant figure out!

F: Damn it! I feel the same for every beautiful girl I come across.

Me: nahin yaar.. I know I know her..

F: look! here is her father.. does he ring any bell?

Now the brain again start working.. again a query fired..

and records scanned. system replied

"One slightly matching record found"

yeah okay... He is certainly a lot overweight than I saw him last.. face has got a bit rotund shape..but yes that's him! yeah it is HIM

Me: Bro.. he isn't her father.. he is her brother.. and my best friend in 4th and 5th standard. He name is "F1" and the girl is "G1"

F: No way... Look at the girl, damn gorgeous and look at the guy.. it seems if he moved a bit, I will certainly experience the floor shaking. I bet not even a single outlet sells jeans of that waist.

Me: I am sure they are F1 and G1.

F: Yeah I guess you are right, they are too looking at you with hint of familiarity. You should go and talk to them, I am leaving I have to go to pick my friend up, I will come soon, just text me when you get free.. and Bhaiya Do talk to her too..!

Me: Yeah right.

And then here is the Kodak moment.. Friends meeting after like 11 years!

F1: Hey Ravi.. I was looking at you and realized I know this guy.. and then it struck me.. Its Ravi. My best mate in school.

Me: Same here yaar!

F1: Do you remember my sister.. G1

Me: Yeah vaguely.. (Of Course I do..)

F1: Remember him G1, He used to come to pick me up on his bicycle for Updhayay sir's tuition?

G1: yeah! how are you? (replied with a smile)

Me: I am good. How are you guys doing? Where have you been all these years?

F1:. If you are not busy.. Lets just grab a cup of coffee together.

Me: Yeah sure.

So we went to the top floor food court, and ordered coffee.

F1: Dude.. you haven't changed a lot, I remember you in school, a thin flimsy guy with Gandhi style rounded spectacles. Now of course they are rectangular and you have gained some weight. But you are still the same geek I know from school

Me: Well, you have changed a lot, except your face features. You too have certainly gained a little weight and height.

G1: "Well did you just use the term 'little' ?" She asked me, winking her eyes with mischief.

(Certainly she has changed a lot too, I still remember her as an annoying, pestering stubborn sister, who was main reason for all the parental scoldings F1 got(I think which she still is). But now, After 11 years, She has turned out be a beautiful and elegant girl as well.)

F1: "Will you please stop it? " (Some things never change.) He turned to me and said.. "So how life has treated you so far? "

Me: Well leaving a few big bumps it has been a fair and great ride. BE Information technology last sem, I am trying for MS from a good US univ, have a job offer from Infosys. Let see how things turns out. What is your story?

F1: Hmm cool man.. Infy! Great! Good going. My story... After dad got transferred to Nagpur and later to Pune, We both finished our schooling there and ended up in same college for B COM. Now I am doing my MBA from Symbi and she just finished some designing course, and next week she is moving to Kolkata to assist my uncle there. We are here to see some relatives.

G1: Aren't you overexcited about it. I don't want to go there.. and I still don't know what am I going to do there?

F1: She is just a bit unhappy about this Kolkata thing.

Me: I understand..(I bet even Half of Pune must be disappointed too.)

G1: "So you are living your dream huh??" She said to me.

My brain took a half a min or so to comprehend that question was directed to me.

Yes dimwit she is actually talking to you.

Me: Sorry?

G1: I remember a conversation about 'years later' , we had over dinner table once. You remember?

Again a query fired and system returned Sorry no record found! How come no record. Damn you don't forget the conversations with such beautiful girls.

Dude! As if you knew She would turn out to be so beautiful. Now will you change the look on your face please.

G1: It seems you don't. Well once at dinner you told me How things would be years later? You said you would become a computer science engineer, and would work on cutting edge technology.

F1: Yes You always wanted that.

Me: Its not how it looks? I wanted be an engineer but not from SVITS but from one of the IITs, and I believe Grass is always greener on other side.

G1: Oh! shoot! I don't care how many 'I' your college name has. But you have become what you wanted to be.

Me: Arre! It's not a big deal. Look around, In this hall only.. 40% people are taking an engineering degree.. there are 50 engineering colleges in this city. and typing code is not a cutting edge technology.

G1: yaar! you are not getting the point. I agree with you, but how many of them really wanted to be an engineer? They took up engineering because there were no options for them, or their parents wanted to be. Its same for every vocation. Of course its a serendipity that few of them discover later that this is what they actually wanted. But only few, rest of them are entangled unhappily.

You talk about green grass, but what if there is no grass. I wanted to take up astronomy, and my brother wanted to be a lawyer, or so many other things. But you, you were always clear what you wanted from life. You have plans to go for MS. I still have to figure it out, and so many other people too.

They are confused about the degree they should take. What will earn them more money? Sab bas kaat rahe hai yaar..

Although her dazzling beauty masks the hint of other emotions, but there was certainly a tinge of anger and desperation in her tone.

Me: yeah May be you are right! I never gave a thought to this.

G1: Well you should, You don't realize how lucky you are. You at least know the path

F1: Not again.. your alchemist shit! We never get everything we want. We have to make compromises, and we all were kids back then. Its real world, and confusions are so natural.

G1: I wasn't talking to you. You will never be agree with me. I was talking to him.

Me: Well, I believe both of you are partly right.

G1: You haven't changed huh? Still very diplomatic. But I know you agree with me. She said smiling.

And then for next hour or so.. we kept on discussing things about our old happy days and about future, about school and college, about movies, hobbies etc. We bade each other good bye and promised that we will soon have a get together of old friends.

Later in the evening I pondered what G1 said, and yes she was right. I always wanted things (of course not the way I got them) . And yes, Destiny's hands do some inexplicable things, but I met G1 and F1 for a reason. I realized to be grateful for things, which I never cared enough. Yes there is reason for everything, there is certainly some supernal powers which do things which are beyond human intelligence. We are guided by them. Sometimes its better to look beyond the obvious.

Let the angels guide your way!

Cheerio :-)

The Chinese Tag!

2010-02-16T21:29:00.009+05:30

This is my very first tag and a post after ages..(Actually my every post appears after ages.) Thanks to Vandana (Passionate Stubborn), an awesome blogger for tagging me. and here it goes..!!

8 TV shows/News Channels I like to watch:

1. FRIENDS (can watch all the 10 seasons in a row!)
2. How I met your Mother (Love Barney)
3. Heroes
4. Prison Break
5. Bones
6. Brothers and Sisters
7. Debates and other shows on NDTV, Times Now.
8. CID

8 Places to eat and dine

1. Indore Saraffa.
2. CCD
3. Bakewell
4. Pizza Hut
5. Dominos
6. Rajadhani
7. CKD
8. And Dhaba behind my place, When I don't have enough bucks :-(

8 Things I Look Forward To

1. Hanging out.
2. Rain.
3. New Movies and Music.
4. Book I have not read (Of course not the syllabus books )
5. Holidays (So that I can go back to my heaven)
6. Family reunion.
7. Blogging
8. Meditation once a day!

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

1. Went to a marriage and ate like freak!
2. Met my cute cousins.
3. Finished "The lost Symbol" by Dan Brown.
4. Used Google Buzz for the first time.
5. Finally got a break through for my 'recommendations'.
6. 3-Hr train journey.
7. A strange dream, still couldn't figure out its essence
8. And finally started my major project.

8 Things I love about winter

1. Gajar ka Halwa
2. Oh! it feels as if I have put on some weight, when I wear winter clothes, and for a change I look better. :-)
3. Nothing beats the feeling of sleeping for hours on a holiday wrapped up in blanket.
4. Masaledar Tea.
5. Eating Ice-Creams (It feels great)
6. Spicy Garadu!
7. You can blame it for your laziness!
8. A hope that it might snow !!

8 Things on my Wish-list

(not in any specific order)
1. To create something totally new, worthy, innovative, creative (something world even hasn't imagined yet! ,unfortunately I too haven't imagined it yet).
2. To study MS in computer science, from one of the best universities in the world.
3. To live in a secluded place for 21 days, with no sense of any other life except me.
4. To look at the world, from the top floor of the tallest building in the world.
5. To be father of a girl.
6. To have a brawny physique.
7. To learn to cook for my maa, some great exquisite dishes! (Yeah I can make coffee right now, and 1 out 3 times, its like drinkable. )
8. To travel back in time, back to school, and repair everything.

ahh!! many more left....but most important to be loved and make a difference.

8 Things I am Passionate about

1. Programming ( Passion for it appears in fits, but I do love it.)
2. Books (They either keep me too close to reality or too far from it.)
3. Movies (Same as above)
4. Music (Can't leave without)
5. Tweeting (140 chars are enough to let the world now what you think!)
6. Blogging
7. Traveling (Actually it should be 'Dream of traveling'! but time will come soon!)
8. People may doubt but I am foodie!!

8 Words/Phrases I often use

1. Cheerio
2. "Mat kha (Dimag) yaar pllz"
3. "Arre tere liye koi baat hai pagle/pagli"
4. Oh! Fish Man!
5. This is not done yaar..or this is not fair yaar..
6. yup
7. WTF
8. Yippie!

8 Things I learned from the past

1. The best thing about it is its GONE!!! and you can always start afresh. (Took me years to actually understand and implement it!)
2. This will pass too. (Works in both ways either you are happy or sad)
3. Sometimes 'To let go or give up ' is not the coward decision but the most brave decision you can make.
4. Never conceal YOUR truth, even for good cause, or even when loved one ask you to, otherwise you can be blamed for something you never did, or something which is non-existent.
5. Expectations (By you or from you) suck out all the joy or happiness you have !
6. Sometimes some events and things, not in your control but decide the course of your life, its better to make peace with them and forget.
7.When nothing works, laugh it out and don't care a damn about it (Tough but works)
8. Past is a bloody haunting teacher that teaches you in a very tough way, and the best you can do is learn from it , score and forget the teacher, but never its teachings!

8 Places I would like to go /Visit

1. USA (Want to study there)
2. Goa
3.Sydney Opera House.
4. The Taj Mahal
5. Paris
6. Venice
7.Whenever it snows.. (Not the storm kind)
8. Actually, I want to visit so many places.. I just dream of the places, but unfortunately never been anywhere, so let the time decide.

8 Things I currently need/want

1. A big tight hug.
2. 10 hrs of sleep.
3 .An Ipod.
4. Some new T-shirts.
5. Few good letters of recommendation
6. A hilarious movie
7. A shave (Feeling too lazy to walk to saloon!)
8. A big big chocolate!

8 Blogging Buddies I want to Tag

(Most of you might have already been tagged by someone else for this tag, if you have plz do post the link in the comment!)

1. Surbhit
2. Pulkit
3. Ayu
4. Chocolate Lover
5. Titaxy
6. Rishi
7.Kedar
8. Kitty

Wow! Tangy Tuesday Picks

2010-01-15T17:10:00.003+05:30

Sometimes,Life treats you in very unexpected and unpredictable ways! It kicks you , and cuddles you at very unexpected moments. One such moment came last Tuesday when my previous post A guy's Night out has been selected as "Tangy Tuesday Picks". I had been following tangy Tuesday picks and loved the picks. Thank you so much Blogadda guys.
Okay I had been traveling last week and right now at home enjoying break, family's love, Mom's cuddling, Awesome food (I had been eating mess food for ages I guess). I had been away from blogosphere for really long. Really missing all the blogs I have been reading for so long, and exploring new blogs, but no internet connection :(, and I am too lazy to move my butt to a cyber cafe, but will be back to life on Sunday. Hope you guys having fun!!! :-)
Cheerio
Ravi

A Guys Nightout

2010-01-09T00:45:00.005+05:30

(Sorry guys , its too big post to read it in one time, read it it parts, can't help it, I don't know what to curtail, so I didn't)

There could be many reasons for a guys night out like EPL matches, Movies, 12 AM B'day celebrations, night roaming, for no reasons. But for one purpose, they never turn out for what they were intended to, and that is studies! People gather up for a descent group study, and they end up doing everything possible but studies. I had one such funny experience few months back. I was just done with my mid-semesters and that very evening I got a call from a good friend from other college

Time - 7:30 PM

A call from "F1"

Me: Hey! kal tumhara Network management? kitna ho gya?

F1: Dude! need an overview of unit 3 and 4, Help me out yaar!

Me: Okay! come over at my place.

F1: How much time will it take?

Me: Unit 3 and 4... hmm around 3 hours.

F1: Dude even two of my classmates need help, One of my friend is insisting for night stay at his place, if you don't have any problem.

Me: No problem.

F1: Okay I will pick you up in 45 mins, Lets have dinner at some place and then we will study.

Me: Okay!

Time : 8:45 PM

Dinner

F1 arrived at my place, at 8:45 PM,

F1: Dude chale?

Me: Yeah sure.

F1: Ravi, meet my friends Mr. Detail and Mr. Hot (They had very descent names but I would rather call them Mr Detail and Mr Hot.)

And This is how engineering students(Boys) meet first time!

Mr. Details: Oh! ABC college, Nice chicks man! esp. Girls from xyz branch..awesome!
Me: Not really.. I have heard a lot about your college gals..
Mr. Hot: Our college sucks big time, not even junior girls are worth a glance.
(1 myth in engineering: Girls in all other engg. colleges are always better than my college!)
F1: Lets go to Chaudhary ka dhaba for dinner!
Everybody: yeah fine

For next 1.5 hours, my stomach was getting stuffed by a heavy sumptuous meal comprising Chinese, and Punjabi food, and my mind was being stuffed by college bashing,professor tormenting thoughts of fellow eaters. Mr details was giving details about how he was treated by one of his professor.When we were done with both, and about to head for the Mr. Detail's place

Mr. Hot: Yaar I over ate, can we have a cup of coffee, other wise I won't be able to stay up for the night. It will hardly take ten mins more.

I too felt the same and agreed with him, so we headed for CCD.

Time: 10:30
Coffee @ CCD
There is one thing about discussions, with such a sundry of topics, they are never ending, its like a maze, at every junction you get another array of topics to discuss, and it goes on and on. Now we were discussing something better to complain for, corruption,wrecking government system, economy.I just love being at this place, great ambience, aroma of coffee , and happy and smiling people!The other 3 were busy discussing cars.(yeah Govt. system, poor roads, and that led to cars). Mr details was giving details about Audi R8, its engine, doors, speed etc (God this guy loves talking!!) and Mr. Hot was tagging all the cars as "Hot", "Super Hot".10 mins soon converted to 1 hour 10 min, one of the staff came to us requesting if we are about to order anything because its their about closing time. We left and headed for Mr. Detail's place.

Time 12:00 AM

Mr. Detail's Place

Mr. Details place was a typical place where an engineering student lives, although very spacious and lavish.The real harmony lies in the utter chaos. Books, clothes, papers and shoes were ubiquitous. The Laptop lay open in bed visible enough that no body sit on it, its on and definitely downloading something. See typical engineering guy room.
Mr. detail: Guys make yourselves comfortable! (He meant make a space for yourself to sit, by piling up all the clothes & books aside. oh! its all Puma, Adidas, Nike, Levis. Who is he? Prince of Rajkot?? )
Mr. hot: What are you downloading?
Mr. details: Nightwish's old albums. I loved Oceanborn.
Mr. hot: I love Evanescence more!
And then needless to say, for next 28 mins , the whole anatomy of music was argued and discussed.(Thoroughly enjoyed by me, and took a great part in it)

Country to rock, progressive rock, Gothic rock!
ABBA to System of a down
Led Zeppelin to A-ha
Beatles to Blues
Jude Abbot to Avril Lavigne & Taylor Swift
Shaan, KK to Kishore Kumar, Mukesh
Raziya Begaum to Shreya and Sunidhi
Laxmikant Pyarelal to AR Rehman
Dewaana to Bewafa Bhag Do by Agam kumar Nigam
and it went on and on.....

Even the gods of music would have adored, blessed , loved and eventually would have been jealous of them because of their wisdom. This was to continue for eternity until Mr. Detail's phone beeped with a SMS, and by looking at his face distortions I was pretty sure it was from a girl containing three words written in capital letters, not I love you, for sure but CALL ME NOW!. Mr detail asked us to excuse him for a moment. and went to next room. I don't know why we all suddenly got silent. We could here some pleading from the next room

listen toh..Jaanu, Beta I was about to call you.. no I do car.. arrey.. but I know you must have been waiting for 15 minutes. No..I didn't forget you baby..I was with friends,Doll please understand yaar..

It was tough to figure out whether he was talking to his daughter or girl friend.
F1: I better call my girl too, excuse me!

So here we are, divided, guys with Gfs in one room and "Female deprived Happy singles always trying to be unhappy" guys in other room.

Me: I should check up my mails, orkut, twitter & blog while they are gone.
Mr. Hot: haha!! I believe you are used to the situation, they are surely gone for long!

Time 1:15 AM Mr. Detail's Place
Mr. Details and F1 joined us back.
Mr. Details: Sorry guys, she was a bit cranky as I did not call her up for long, she was waiting.
F1: Yeah same here, you know all women are same.
(Oh god Did somebody just say WOMAN?)
and this is what continued for next 34 mins, I couldn't avoid this one too..!
my girlfriend, his girlfriend,simply friends, relatives,female classmates, senior girls, Nursery class teachers, Girls at a party,Girls at a mall, Girls in traffic, Girls on TV, Women Politician (Even Mayawati wasn't spared!),Girl's character, Girl's hobbies, Bollywood Actresses, Hollywood Actresses, polygamy, paramour relationships, why women are more interested in married men?, Krishna, Osho, Geeta Sar, Spirituality, Deepak Kapoor, Meditation, Past, Present, Future!

Mr. Details: Will all this matter tomorrow? You do not owe anything to anyone, you are not here for ever, You brought nothing, you will go with nothing but your Karma !
Me: Yeah Right! care to exchange your room and stuff with mine? Guys what are we doing? Network Management?
F1: Yeah Its 2:00 AM yaar! Let us study now, just put on the radio on a little volume, so that we don't feel sleepy, and guys no discussions over music choice.

Finally books were opened and we started studying.
Mr. Hot: Ravi, just give us a quick overview of unit 3 and 4.
Mr. Details: No guys, we still have time, you just teach us topic by topic.
Me: Bhiyo.. Content doesn't matter, no body bothers to read. If you make all labeled diagrams ,write key terms and write anything then , it will be all.
Mr Details: Fine! (this was said very reluctantly)

When you stay up for a whole night, there comes a phase of 15-17 mins, when there is an intense urge to sleep, if you overcome that phase, you can stay up for as many hours as you like. Mine had arrived, just after 10 mins of study. Song in the background was playing "Saanso ko saanso mein ghulne do zara from the movie Hum-tum"

Me: Guys can we put off the radio?
F1: You don't like the song?
Me: I do, its just not the right occasion, I am feeling too sleepy!
Mr. Hot: Me too.
Mr. Detail: Yaar Let walk for a while in the garden, breathe fresh air, that will charge us up for studying.
All agreed!

Time: 2:15 AM
Garden near Mr. Detail's place
Garden was well lit and maintained and breeze was filled with jasmine's fragrance. It was soothing and calm.
Mr Hot: Tell me one actress hotter than Rani Mukherji in the movie Hum-Tum?
Me: You mean Isha Koppikar? she was in a cameo role.
Mr Hot: Nope yaar! Kiran Kher! man she looks super hot!
Rest of us busted out laughing, okay she might be cute and adorable with her dimples, but Hot?

Mr. Detail: Do you know Hum-Tum was totally copied from Harry Met Sally?

I prayed, that F1 and Mr Hot too has seen the movie, other wise this guy will give every detail of the movie, that they can even narrate the story to their grand children without ever watching it!
But alas! he had not! Mr detail even remembers what Meg Ryan was wearing in the restaurant scene and what She and Harry Burns ate!

And here we go, we started chattering, on any random occurring topic. Movies was sheer winner followed by women and music, then cricket, Tennis, football, EPL, F1,NBA, politics, System, Spirituality and so and so. I don't know where to put women tennis. I always fail to understand why women tennis is so popular, is it because it is WOMAN tennis or it is woman TENNIS.
F1: yeah even Hillary duff came to Madurai with her mother to take blessings Babaji.
Mr. Hot: oh! man she is super hot!
Nobody dared to ask Hillary or her mom!

and it went on..

Time: 3:15 AM
Garden near Mr. Detail's place
May be I am addicted..I am out of control.. Someone's cell phone rang, breaking our spell of chattering.

Mr. Hot: Hey its striker calling!

F1: At this hour? Poochh kitna pad liya?

Mr. Hot finished the conversation, and came back to us.

Mr. Hot: He too is nil bate sannata in Network management, he was asking if we want to play counter strike at his place, they are playing it on the LAN with 3 systems tonight.

Mr. Detail: No way we can't go, we need to clear this one, class teacher's subject, all sessional depend on this.

F1: Ravi, can you give us the brief summary in 1 hour then?

Me: yeah, I guess I can, let us start then.

Mr. Hot: Not now buddy, after game, let go and kill!

Time: 3:40 AM
Mr. Striker's place

Mr. Striker's place was like a party place, Mettalica playing loudly, and people eating,drinking & playing counter strike. After introductions like previous one, all settled to play. No body knows where next one hour gone.Suddenly game stopped working, some low connectivity problem.

Mr. Detail: We need to learn Network Management to fix that up.

Time: 5:30 AM
On the way back to Mr. Detail's place.

Its almost time before sunrise, People had started taking their matutinal stroll.

F1: We have wasted whole night, fat rhi hai yaar ab.. Ravi start telling us all the important points.

Me: okay Let us continue from where we had left.

and I continued my summary.

Time: 6:30 AM
Mr. Detail's place.

Me: Okay next is RIP, RIP stands for Routing Internet Protocol.

Mr Detail: Fcuk details... You explain the diagram and its properties in short.

I gawked at him and rest of them laughed almost for a min.

Mr Detail: I will have to get pass, otherwise my GF is gonna kill me.

Aww.. doll kills too.. .We studied for next 30 more mins.

Time: 7:15 AM

Jain Poha Centre, 56 Shops.

How can an Indori night out end without Pohe-Jalebi.

One week later

A call from "F1"

Me: Hey man, wassup?

F1: You did great job that night.

Me: Aww.. It sounds so creepy. You cleared the subject?

F1: Yeah, 11/20 You were so right, no body reads the content but unless conspicuous.

Me: why?

F1: Mr details got 3/20, He wrote RIP stands for REST IN PEACE!

oh! man we couldn't stop laughing for next 2 min.

Life, Chaos and New year!

2010-01-04T21:52:00.009+05:30

It seems like an age since last I logged in my blogger account. I had been busy, busy for nothing. Few words define my life in the past one month- Internal exams, External exams, GRE, Semester exams, Projects, Applications, Sleepless nights,Crazy days, and Missed (marriages, birthdays and movies). To sum it up life had been a real chaos.
I always failed to understand the concept of choices. Some people say its choices which makes us what we are. Are we really empowered to choose? I never faced choices in life. An answer will always be there waiting for me, free from all vagueness, crystal clear. I never weighed the other option as if a supernatural force guiding me and making my decisions. Whether its career or life, small decision or a big one, choices never confused me. Although consequences of those decisions were always hazy, they confuse as well as amaze, they hurt as well as please me, and sometimes bring a feeling of remorse and sometimes elation. I discovered something about my decisions, I always chose things "Which would benefit me " over things "I love to do". I always made my decisions in the anticipation of good future, sacrificing my present and reminiscing my good or bad past.
Now It's time I break the shackles of past, and get rid of encumbrance of future. Its time to liberate, its time to breathe, time to live. New year new life new hope. Time to choose "Things I love to do" over "Things that MAY benefit me!"
New year wishes to all of u!!
Love luck and care.
Cheerio :)
Nice words: If you are depressed you are living in past, if you are anxious you worry too much about future, if you are at peace, you are in present!

High Time!!

2009-11-23T14:12:00.003+05:30

Okay!! This is going to be most succinct post I have written.

I got my passport today!! (Thank you so much to all the people who prayed for it, after 1 year, 2 months and 11 days of applying, I hope I am eligible for a record.)

And Now its going to be me and GRE, on 11th December. I have lost track of my preparation in all these days, due to college assignments and laziness, But I know I will get better in a week.

If I retrospect, I haven't done anything academically which I can be really proud of. After wasting my most precious school years 11th and 12th in a dummy school of Kota, I couldn't get into IITs. This time it is going to be different. Since last two years, a dream of studying in USA has shaped in my mind, and of all the things I want in life, this will surely in the top priority.

18 days is a very little time for revision and thorough practice, but I know I am going to make it. How? I don't know.

So whoever reads it, wish me luck and a great score. I would miss blogging world in these days, but will come back with a bang!

Love you all!!

Cheerio

Ravi

PS: Thank you Chocolate Lover for the award. It really felt great. I will write the post after my exams.

All the great people who did great things in this world, never knew how they were going to do, but always knew they were going to do! :)

Why Why Why?

2009-11-15T22:24:00.006+05:30

1. Why weather is go good on a day when there is tonnes of work to do?

2. Why the movie I go on a first day paying 150 bucks turns out to be a fussss?

3. Why the questions I skip, always appear in the exams?

4. Why do I oversleep?

5. Why do I just have thoughts of arranging my stuff?(Its a super mess)

6. Why mobile have low balance, when I desperately need it?

7. Why things I misplace always turns out to be important in the end?(My passport receipt)

8. Why the mess food is good on the day I am not hungry?

9. Why girl I have crush on, never gives me a second glance?

10. Why there is a strong temptation to eat a chocolate after 11PM?(Shops are closed!)

11. Why I am always sick on my birthday?

12. Why after buying a T-shirt all other look great?(And can't buy another!)

13. Why I still have to look for my jeans in the kids section :( ?

14. Why the time never valued, I always cherish later?

15. Why I am I misunderstood when I have the best intentions in the mind?

16. Why so many dreams are still dreams?

17. Why things never turns out to be the way I plan?

and the list continuous...

But.. Life is still full of surprises,smiles, hope, faith and love. It still give moments, when I simply feel awesome. Its all about those moments. Its all about looking beyond imperfections, and every thing seems so great.May your life be full of such moments!

Cheerio :)

Ravi

Awards!!

2009-11-11T00:35:00.008+05:30

Who doesn't love good surprises? Least of expected, Some one really liked my blog and awarded me for it. Titaxy who is simply an awesome blogger,awarded me this. Thanks a lot Titaxy! It feels great.

I think One of the best thing I love doing is reading blogs, So I think I should also appreciate the blogs, I simply love to read. So here is the award followed by list of people.

Award goes to :

Memories and Mirages (Titaxy) Go

A Crooked Smile (Rishi) Go

Opening the Book(Surbhit) Go

PASSIONATE STUBBORN (Vandana) Go

Layering Life(joie de vivre) Go

Thanks a lot guys for such awesome posts

Keep Blogging..

Cheerio :)

The End of the Beginning!

2009-11-06T09:11:00.007+05:30

I just came to know that our "probable" internals date is out.(Yes, we Engineers rely so much on theory of probability. Even on the scheduled day, the probability of occurring the event is not 1.). For us, Internals are sign of end of semester and arrival of exams, means we should spend the time with "Shivani" now. Shivani the saviour, the ultimate guidebook. But this time, I just realized it will also mark the end of second-last semester, or say 3.5 years of Engineering. Just 7-8 months later, this will all be over.Suddenly on realizing this, my viral fever stricken body felt a shock, and my mind filled with nostalgia of all the memoirs and events of past 3.5 years. Was this time good, or was it bad?This question confuses me.
When I look back and look on the bright side, These years are more or less proved to be learning for me. This time taught me some great lessons of life. It taught me however grim the situation might be, its gonna change. It made me realize my true strengths and my weakness. It gave me friends and foes. It gave me some real moments to live. I believe I am still learning and getting mature each day. It can't be an end, but might an end of a beginning.
Any regrets? Well yes many! I still couldn't say a "hi" to a cute 2nd year junior yet, with whom I have constant eye locks (or I might have imagined so!).I will soon be 22 and still haven't been on a date yet (God.. What kinda face am I going to show to my children.[:(]) But as I said its not an end, its just the End of the Beginning. [:)]
And lastly.. If my jukebox is working fine, you must be hearing Miley Cyrus's The Climb, which is awesome and so true.

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Life is a climb, but the view is surely great!!
Cheerio [:)]

Please Pray!

2009-10-30T11:13:00.003+05:30

Here is a little story..
On 11 February 2009, A guy with dreams and high hopes, with an endeavor to study in USA, applies for the passport. And today, 30th October 2009, He hasn't got his passport yet. With 3 trips to Bhopal(That's where Passport office of state is!), and numerous calls to his damn passport agent, He is still waiting, that one day an angel, wearing a Khaki uniform, the postman, would come to his gate, and deliver him, that damn parchment which he has been longing for months.
The guy has always been an optimist, even in toughest of situations of his life, is feeling a bit laid back. All his peers have given GRE and scored well. They have started the application process, and are applying to some of the world's best colleges. He has been preparing for the exams for more than a year now, and desperately wants to give the exams and apply, but can't do so without a passport. Every day he dreams of the exams day,the awesome score, the acceptance letter blah blah.. The guy believes in prayers and pray everyday, and requests who ever reads this to please pray for him .. There is still time.. He knows he is destined to be where he wants to be!
PS: Needless to say The guy is me, and I really mean that please pray for me. and Yes I have been away from blogging for weeks now, I really miss it.. This GRE and damn college stuff keeps me away from this passion.There are so many incomplete posts in my dashboard and which I really want to complete and post. And more than that I am desperate to read blogs, Which I have been following and simply love to read. So hope all this ends soon and I come back, with all the good news from my side. Things will not be normal but better. This I believe the most crucial part of life, Hope things work out well. All the best to all of you. May you all have best of your lives.
Cheerio :)
Ravi

My Conversation with God!

2009-10-01T14:45:00.018+05:30

Note: At first, I wanted the heading to be "Ill effects of GRE preparation!" but some how I ended up with an apposite heading-"My Conversation with the God!". This is inspired from an email I received years ago (I don't remember its content, but I certainly remember its quintessence), and also from the movies I keep watching (Like Brus Almighty), and books I keep reading. Not every part is fictional, and no I don't have such fits frequently so please don't think I am crazy! :) One last thing, After re- reading what I wrote, I can conclude It may turn out to be the worst post ever, its banal and some how have the same old stuff.People never died of tedium, but my experiments are in process.They might want to curse me, so a harsh anonymous comment will serve the purpose. There might be mistakes as I wrote in hurry, I will correct them eventually.

"Wake up Ravi!". Some one was trying to wake me up. I don't recognize the voice. Last thing I remember I was feeling dizzy after lunch, and was trying to mug up my GRE word list, then I might have fallen asleep. I opened my eyes slowly, and found my self at the strange place. I looked around, it was a pleasing place with beatific peace in it. I thought "Where the hell am I?".
"Oh! Surely you don't call such place a hell!". I looked around, and then saw the source of the voice. He was a well built,tall guy, must be in his 40s, dressed in a plain white shirt and a blue jeans. He had a pleasant countenance, with a cherubic smile. His eyes were angelic and voice was deep baritone.
"Who are you and where am I?" I inquired.
He replied - "I am God! Didn't you ask for me? You keep calling me! so I decided to see you."
It took a while for me to assimilate what he said?. and next words came out of my mouth involuntarily were- "Is this some kind of prank? no wait I must be dreaming. I keep dreaming a lot!".
He replied-"Might be! I assume you had some questions to ask".
I was still startled but some how I gathered myself for my rendezvous with the God! I had so many questions in my mind, there is so much I wanted to ask him, but I ended up asking:"How are you doing?"
God replied:"You really want to know that?"

I said:"Well, you are charming, but you seem weary."

God responded: "Of course I am exhausted! Care to listen a story?"

I replied: "Yeah sure!"

God beamed at me and then started with his story:"Billions of years ago, I created your beautiful planet Earth. Then due to my creative urge, I created life, followed by millions of life forms. Still famished, I ended up creating human, my most beautiful creation. Human were totally different from all other life forms. They had power to think, to doubt, to understand, to question, to believe and love and most important, to choose. Power to choose, made them different not only from other forms but also made them individually different. They had power to make their own destiny, and their own decisions. These choices created different ideas, thoughts, factions, languages,religions and countries.Alas! power to choose also brought sense of superiority in them and in quest of this superiority they ended up fighting among themselves. Rest is history and you know very well. Look what utter chaos they have created on Earth. I am a father, who daily sees his children fighting over ideas, belief, religion, pieces of land, oil etc. They bomb places and kill innocent lives. It hurts me. In short guys! you people really screwed up out there!"
Startled !I didn't know what to say, but few seconds later I asked, "So everything depends on the what path we choose?"
God replied-"Certainly! It all depends on choices you make. You have the power to choose between happiness or sadness, you have power to choose between good or bad, you have the power to choose between Chocolate or vanilla."
I immediately asked -"What if we make a wrong choice?"
God grinned at me for a moment and then with a broad smile replied-"Aah!! You must be talking about mistakes, oh they are the fun part of the game. They make the human learn in best way. If opt to learn from them, you will never make the same mistake again, and there will always be chance of another mistake and more learning. This is a never ending process, a loop to infinity. If you never commit a mistake you are already out of game!"
Reply muddled me up but I had my next question ready,"And how does future is related to all this?"
God had his answer ready-"Smart question son! Choices made in the present moment, will some how affect your future. Its like predefined robust algorithm, output totally depends on the input and my boy! there are no exception, tested and certified!. Even scope of inputs are defined, The present moment. No past no future. You just take care of the present moment and rest will be in my safe hands. If you keep on lamenting over past decisions or worrying about future, there will be no help, and your power to choose in the moment will be affected!"
I retorted-"It cant be that simple! can it be?"
God smiled and said -"You use your power to doubt much more than power to believe and understand ,have faith son!"
May be he was right. My mind was working with a sense of exigency now. So I asked-"I have got great family and good friends, and I never choose to be unhappy or gloomy, but at times I really feels so, why?"
God replied again with a sense of serenity-"I am glad you asked me that, The girl I met before you, had lost her parents and had no place to live, asked me similar question, I had no actual answer.The guy before that,he suffered from so many atrocities of life, had an amputated leg, had no one to look after asked me that. I was speechless there too and yes few days I ago I met.."
I intervened him and said-"Okay I got it!"
He looked at me affectionately and said-"Yes you got it. Don't expect.One of the rules of the game. Chill out buddy.. Go and watch a movie..' wake up sid' seems nice and Pizza hut's new Cheesy bites are yummy!"
I gawped at God and thought 'Have I gone crazy, I am surely imagining stuff.'
God laughed this time and replied-"of course you have gone crazy, who in their sane mind imagine talking to the god!"
Then I heard at distance someone calling me,it was my roomie, the voice intensified and everything around me turned hazy. Suddenly I found myself asleep at the study table and my roomie standing beside me waking me up "you fell asleep on the table, go and sleep on the bed"
I replied I am awake now.. and lets book tickets for the 'wake up sid'. It seems nice.

Oh! god you actually read the crap till end..!! :).
thanks anyways..
Cheerio :)

Finally!!! It happened!

2009-09-25T21:06:00.015+05:30

Finally..!!! It happened!.. As long as I can remember, I have never been first in anything. At school, in academics, I had a reserved position of second.In co- curricular too I was either second or third. In sports, I always sucked, except for few months of table tennis, but I was never first in that too. Irony is that I was not even first from last in many nightmare activities (like Dancing). In those too I comfortably managed a second last position.
Now Finally It happened, In my final year of Engineering, I managed to grab a first position in an event called "Webmaniax", which was hosted by DAVV-IET, Indore in their Techfest called "Phoenix'09". Event was that we had to submit a self-designed web page, whose theme should be either technology or nature. One of my junior and my friend Mudit motivated me to take part in it. Due to an innate character of laziness, I was not going to do this, with a suitable excuse of being too busy. But thanks to Akshay, Who came to my place and said let us give it a try. So we sat for 3 hours and tried to make something on nature. It was 12AM and we had college next day, He left and we dropped the idea, as we were late for submission and we didn't make anything substantial. So, I was laying in bed wondering, I wish I would have started earlier. Then, Suddenly My conscious fair part of me said,"hey! you can still finish it, you have gone to college so many times without sleeping at all, just for sake of watching movies or surfing on net. Why don't you give it a try, may be you can win, you have got at least an idea to work on, get up buddy" Then My dominant evil side spoke, "Dude!! Have a chill pill, You never waste a night for such a thing, And you never gonna win it, Even a 9th std child can design a better page than you. Just sleep! and let it be". And the conflict went on for 10 min. Rarely my fair side win, but this time it won and I was on my lappy again to finish the design. It was 4:30 AM and I finished it and I liked whatever I did. I immediately submitted it, and sent a copy to Akshay too. Next day, A SMS buzz of my silent phone woke me up from a half asleep half awake state in my Artificial Intelligence class. It was Akshay(Who didn't come next day!) saying "man!! design rox". And The day results were declared, I was winner, not second but first. I know Web-Designing is a child's play, but fortunately no child participated in the event. Here is the sneak pic of the page I have designed. If you click here or image ,you can view the exact design with flash. Please enable Javascript to view it.

Thanks to Akshay,Mudit,my fair side, and to you for reading all the crap I write.
Cheerio
Ravi

Reasons why I want to fall in love:

2009-09-20T00:53:00.009+05:30

1. To check out why the hell whole world is gaga about it.
2. Couple entries to so many places are way cheaper.
3. I want to know how the hell people dine in candle lights, when you cant even see each others face properly.
4. I want to figure out what people talk over phone for so many hours.
5. Because, Mobiles phone operators have reduced the tariffs to 1 paise/sec.
6. To actually know, why coffee parlours earn so much, and also want to know, what lot can happen over a coffee("A lot can happen over a coffee!").
7. To know why people justify their love lives to their friends as-"We are JUST friends!".
8. Because, I want to have someone to bear my mood swings, without any guilt.
9. At least, Someone would bear my lame jokes, and cant complain about it.
10. Because I have got huge pocket money and I can't think of anything, How to waste it.
11. Because It just feels great to be confused.. "what should I gift her?"
12. Because, I am doing too good in my studies.
13.Because, I am very bored.
14. Because, I am too bored of hanging out with friends!.
15. Because, I have nothing else to do.
16.Because, I will be 22 in Jan .
17. Because, Doom's day is around.
17. Because, I cant think of any more points.

jokes apart,I have got numerous actual reasons to fall in love, but do you actually need a reason to fall in love? Love is not by choice, but a sudden unforeseen feeling, you simply can't resist.
I wonder will I ever feel that way?, and I can find the answer within-"Sure my boy, one lucky day! you will find some one that unlucky!"
Cheerio :)
Ravi.
PS:Special Thanks to Abhi.
I just wish I dont repel girls by this post.
Lastly favorites lines from one of my favorite movies:
St Paul to the Corinthians 13: 4-8 8, 13 Love is patient and kind, it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offence, nor is it resentful. Love takes no pleasure in others’ sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end. There are three things that last, faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love.

Astrology: My Passion

2009-08-21T23:49:00.004+05:30

I don't know since when, and why.. one thing I am very passionate about is "Astrology". I have spent hours of googling and exploring new and new aspects of astrology, reading natal charts, numerology etc.Of course, there have been friends and brothers who termed this interest of mine as a dawdling activity, or just stupid jingoism, but I always defend my self with the facts I have learned. All of us have some misconceptions about this science and we all doubt its validity, thanks to some charlatans, who by their half and wrong knowledge, dupe people. Astrology is surely not an art of fortune telling, but a science which studies the effect of different planets on a man, by their planetary positions. Contemporary science has proved in all these years through theories like gravitational law, that proves that all bodies experience forces from other bodies, one of the best examples is tides created by moon in oceans.
Similarly, Astrology notes the planetary positions at the time of our birth, and then creates various cycles according to the future positions of the planets, and then through its calculated bio-rhythmic knowledge it predicts the character of the person. It's all very scientific.
Astrology is revelations of Character and character is destiny, and if a man can change his character he will have changed his destiny. So astrology does not show anything but tendencies.
There is nothing permanent and nothing predefined. No one can predict what you can be, or how will your life will be. But it can surely be foreboded how will your energy and state both mental and physical will be. Thus by astrology,A man is forearmed to cope up with atrocities of life.A man can rule his stars by exerting his will. A wise man rules his stars, while a fool is ruled by them.
All of us come across days when nothing goes in our way, so often we simply feel exhausted for no reason. So often we say.. this is not my day today. So what to do when things go wrong?
Most of us actually give up. While reading an article of one of the most famed astrologer of our times, Linda Goodman, I came across a very interesting theory of her.
She says that all of us have a bad day, so we are ruled by negative forces that day. Forces are always relative. The will power of yours generates a positive force, mere a smile on your face produces positive energy, which can counter attack negative energy of yours.
So, if you have a bad day, never succumb to the situations, give them a fight with smile on your faces, then the whole universe will respect your energy and will always help you to achieve your goals.
I actually tried it many times, and every single time I explored a new potential of mine or a new benchmark achieved. Just give it a shot it actually works.
Life is full of ups and downs but a strong willed person always overcomes whatever impediments life offers. In this process, true winners come out with glory and a remarkable place in history.

I am a great believer in luck, the harder I work, the more I seem to have it- Thomas Jefferson

whatever happens,happens for good!!

2009-06-05T14:21:00.015+05:30

"Oh!! God not again!!.."- This is how a bad day starts for me, and why it is bad.. it is bad because, When I wake up on such a day.. I find something is wrong, and in a few seconds I realize what is wrong. I have been attacked again.. again by tiny little sores in my mouth, which will unfortunately grow into large mouth ulcers and leave me in pain for 3-4 days.I can barely speak, and eat of course in those days. I don't know why they pop up like that, but my doctor says My stomach is allergic to certain food,medication and heat, and that's why I am gifted with those so frequently. So now blame game starts,Whom should I blame? My mess wala bhaiya for cooking such a bad stuff, or myself for eating that stuff, or the weather, or god or blah blah..
(oh!! what am I talking about, Ulcer talks.. I was supposed to share something else.. )
So I had such one bad day, that too a day before my internal vivas.I thought-"How am I going to speak in vivas, they will deduct more marks from already low marks,I am supposed to get.Why god why.. couldn't you wait for few days.. It's so unfair". I just went for the internals with totally low confidence and my mouth full of ulcers. I waited for my turn and finally it came.As I went in and as usual was bombarded with questions. As a 3rd year Engineering student,I know very well the finger rule of viva, "you just need to answer the question,it doesn't matter what you answer." So I opened my mouth to speak, and just took out a few words with effort. My internal saw me in pain and asked me the reason. I told him my story. So he said-"It seems you are in pain, so don't speak.. why don't you draw a diagram of 8255".In my mind I thought-"thank you god!!.. That is the diagram I had mugged like 5 times few days before".I quickly drew the diagram.Meanwhile my other two mates who came along with me to give viva, were bombarded with new and new questions, and they were as silent as I was.I finished my diagram and showed it to Internal. He said-"very good!! you study well" and then asked me to leave, While other two people who came along with me, kept sitting there and came out like after 15 minutes, with bad face and internal.I know marks are not out yet, but I have a positive vibe that my internal was good. Similar things happened in other 2 internals also. So in the morning I was cursing things and god and blah blah,
and in the after noon I was thanking god!!!.Sometimes we are just in impasse. We simply don't know what to do.. in fact no one knows. So we blame situations,people associated, or things or god.Its just a matter of perspective.We just need to see the other side of whatever happened and thus you can always find a good positive side. It is rightly said- Whatever happens,happens for good.
We make things over complicated by analyzing the situation.We fight with the conclusions of the situations, not with situations.Never succumb to the situations, but you should always accept the conclusion and learn from it. We keep on lamenting on the ill-happening and just forget the hidden motive of God.Of course, Nobody can justify the terrorists attack or bomb blasts.So it is better to put up-"Most of whatever happen, happen for good"

PS: Sorry for the boring post.you see Exams Pressure!!!:(

How does it feel?? Part-1

2009-05-21T18:34:00.024+05:30

How does it feel when you wake up one day with your phone buzzing, its a call from an unknown no. you pick it up to find that its from one of your very old childhood friend, to whom you haven't spoken to since last 7 years.
How does it feel when the girl at your coaching on whom you had crush since day one and to whom you have been trying to talk for like 2 months, suddenly turns up and asks-"can you suggest me synonyms of 'nincompoop'".and this is what goes on in your mind:- "Nincompoop yeah of course i know what does this word mean, I have crammed it like 30 times yesterday,but why cant I remember it right now!! man she is beautiful, hey she even got a mole on her che..stop it..do you realize you have been staring at her for so long.. for the sake of god speak up something, anything,ANY DAMN THING!!". "I guess its foolish" (oh!! great thank god words came out.. are you going to say something else. yeah it means foolish, or moron or idiot or... or you the guy who just missed a chance) . Girl says "thanks".(man she is going.. say something, ask her a synonym too.. or about her prep, rehne de she is gone.. you know what!! you are a nincompoop. Damn it!!)

How does it feel when your 6 years old cousin who has no idea what marriage is?, asks you that "When I will be a grown up girl, will you marry me?"
How does it feel when your another 8 year old cousin(who doesn't know what girlfriend mean) says-"One of my girlfriend drives me crazy,she doesn't understand a word I say to her".(It was really cute when he babbled-"meli ek girlfland mujhe paagal kal deti hai,kuch samajhti hi nahi hai,hamesha ulta kalti hai").
How does it feel when you are at home, and you pass by kitchen to find out, your mother is cooking your favorite dish, exclusively for you.
How does it feel when you wake up at 6:55AM and your have to catch college bus at 7:05 AM and you reach at stop at 7:15AM to find out that bus hasn't come yet.
How does it feel when you really have a bad day, you come home tired, you put on radio... and you favorite song is being played, and you forget everything and enjoy it.
How does it feel when you go to "Top n Town" or nearest cake shop, you pick up a random flavor and man it tastes yummy!!.
How does it feel when out of a sudden you get a free lecture because your professor is absent.
How does it feel when at traffic signal you smile at a cute little stranger child and guess what he smiles you back.
How does it feel when you just open up window and feel cool breeze on your face.
How does it feel when your little 14 year old sister bombard you with her stupid teenage friendship troubles "xyz friend has gone crazy, she doesn't treat me well blah blah, how to deal with her"
How does it feel when something goes wrong among friends and one of your friend without explanation says "I trust u dude, don't explain".
How does it feel when 4 guys watching a real senti stuff, try to hide tears and give a fake laugh and discard it with"what the crap!!"..( we are the macho men).
How does it feel when you and your friend speak up same lines,same words together and then both speak together "sath mein bole".
How does it feel when with your very little help, things starts working for someone.
How does it feel when you open up your tiffin from the mess to find out that food is really good today.(this one is total fiction).
How does it feel when you miss the deadline, don't finish your assignments on time, you go to college to find out, submissions has been postponed.
How does it feel when you make coffee, everything is fine with it.
How does it feel when you just finish a book which you been longing to read.
How does it feel when you are appreciated by a person who matters a lot to you.
How does it feel when even though you are tired and travelling in a city bus, you vacate the seat for an elderly person and he bless you with his smile and thank you.
How does it feel when you just realize on a Friday, that its weekend time, fultoo masti time.
How does it feel when you and friends have a full heart laugh on something really pithy matter.
How does it feel when you feel what ever happening has happened before(Deja vu).
How does it feel when you make it up with your brother, or friends after stupid fights.
How does it feel when you just feel happy..for no reason.

and many many more... It simply feels awesome.The best way to live life is to enjoy its little pleasures.When we keep pondering upon what is missing in life, we just forget to appreciate what we have. I have read somewhere appreciate what you have and you will have everything in abundance.Life is full of surprises, enjoy them. Keep smiling rocking and enjoying..
may you all get what you wish for.
cherio

Ravi

Here comes the Rain!!.

2009-05-18T17:34:00.000+05:30

After like 2 months of sweltering heat, with temperature rising above 40'c many times, this Sunday finally, Indore had its first shower of the season. It rained continuously for an hour and thus quenching the land which was dry for so long.

Can there be a better fragrance than fragrance of wet soil and can there be a better taste than taste of the first droplets of first rain?(my neighbour says its acid rain which tastes salty and I am crazy).As the first droplets of rain fell on my face, I felt such a bliss, that is too tough to put up in words.It took all the anxiety and fetidness of the day, and recharged me.This is how we celebrated the first rains of the monsoon. We bathed and danced in the rain for an hour, and then it occurred to somebody that lets make pakodi. So we bought the stuff and experimented with our cooking skills.8 guys, with no kitchen experience, created a total chaos, but in the end we had a full plate of pakodis, which luckily tasted yummy!!.

Nature has its way of telling you things.However heated up summers are, Rain always follows to cool it up.Similarly in life, however bad situations are, good things always follow them. If things go wrong, they tend to get better. It is nature's way of teaching that nothing is permanent.

Rains always comes with a message-"This will pass too".Whether you are happy, or sad, it will pass.So this is the moment to be lived and taken care of, and rest will always be taken care of.

Open up your arms and welcome this monsoon. Let this monsoon wash up all your tensions and worries.Its time to get refreshed,revived and rejuvenated.Its time to love and be loved.

May u have best of ur times.

Cherio [:)]

Ravi

Solitude

2009-04-30T20:08:00.000+05:30

All of us have somethings in life,which we are not very comfortable with.One such thing in my life was "Loneliness". Ever since I was a child,this was one thing, which intimidated me, fear of being left alone. I used to have nightmares of getting lost in a crowd, missing a bus at a lonely place etc.Even though I had 300+ contacts in my mobile phone and 200+ friends in my orkut/facebook profile, a lot of time I used to feel very lonely and worse was I used to hate it. During one of the sessions at "Art of Living", I was taught-"Whatever you resist, will persist". I found this very true. The more I tried to resist, I was left with knotty situations in life, which compelled me to live with my fear.
Once I was cleaning up my messy room(a very rare occasion), I came across an article from mind over matters section of Sunday Times.Since I always find those articles very fascinating, I started reading it right away.It was about "Solitude v/s Loneliness".
I remember it very well. It said so often we all confuse loneliness and solitude as same things. Although superficially both are same,both characterized by solitariness , but at deeper level they both are very different.Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. One feels that something is missing. It is possible to be with people and still feel lonely—perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness.While, Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company. From Gautam Buddha to Albert Einstein all achieved their goals in life, after hours and months of solitude. Solitude givrd new dimensions to the creativity,and in same way the article went on.
When I read the complete article, I thought may be I need to change the perspective of looking at things.I should not be lonely, instead I should be in solitude.From then on, it all changed. I started relishing company of myself, and somehow it rejuvenated me. It gave me time to ponder on my actions and I was able to figure out things pretty clearly.And one best thing was, I somehow started noticing little pleasures of life like watching a sunset, watch children smiling and playing, walking barefooted on wet grass and many such things.Although busy schedule deprive me of many such things, but I enjoy them a lot.
So if you also feel lonely at times, convert it to positive solitude and enjoy life, who knows there may be one more Einstein in making :) .
In solitude, we are least alone: Lord Byron
Cherio
Ravi

Love

2009-04-17T18:33:00.000+05:30

I have no idea why I have chosen to write about love today, as I am totally callow, about notion of love. Well, actually that isn't perfectly true. Even though I haven't experienced it but I have observed it closely around me, so I guess i can write about it a little bit.
80% of the Hindi films have the same motif "love" and ,in their songs, love's appellation varies from "Khuda" to "Kamina" and "Kambakht", more confusing to the people like me.
This one incident in my life, actually gave me true understanding of this mysterious "love".In last may, I went to see one of my oldest friends at his place. Even though, we chatted a lot about our lives, school days and past, I observed he was occupied more with his mobile, constantly sending SMSs to someone.
I inquired, and got reply "teri bhabhi ko". And then suddenly a message came, which made him jump up from his comfortable sofa and he said to me "come, lets go to her hostel..!! ". It was around 12:30 Pm a and temperature I guess,must have been above 40'c, and her hostel was 18 km from his house.
I said "Are you crazy?? man its boiling out there.. and you want a 36Km ride on the bike... can't we go in the evening..??"
But all my arguments were falling to deaf ears.. He just said,"you are coming".
Now, According to section 16(A) of Book of Friendship you can't back out in such situations, and you will have to follow your friend.
As we rode out of the parking area, I felt sultry may wind on my face and regretted my decision. I thought "To hell with Book of Friendship,
I can't go.. Why did I come..??", but I said nothing to my friend.
That 18km ride to hostel seemed never ending to me. When we were just few blocks away from hostel,my friend's mobile beeped with a new message," Take care Khadoos wali warden is on duty".
I asked "Are we still going to meet her??"
He said " what meet her?? we are not here to meet her.. we are here to SEE her, she will appear in the balcony,She is allowed outing only on Saturday, and its Thursday today".
I thought "did my astrologer ever predicted any murder in my Kundli.. if no, I will prove him wrong today". Before I could say anything to him, She appeared in the window. He introduced me to her through airy gestures. They kept on staring and smiling at each other.
After just two min, I guess, he said let us go home, I said "We have come this far, it's OK we can stay for long". To which he replied,"She doesn't want us to stay in the sun for so long", and started his bike.
While riding back to home,He said this was the only time he can see her, as they both had different colleges in the morning and in the evening he had coaching to attend, which was in the other end of city.
Heat was so sweltering that, roads were empty and it led to the formation of mirage on the road.I thought "As mirage is the illusion of water in the dry land, same way, is love also just an illusion, a fleeting surge of emotions, nothing but a quixotic concept or is it too esoteric to understand."
When we reached home I was tired like hell, but my friend was on the 9th cloud.
He was elated like anything.He said to me "Everyday,those two min. are the best part of my whole day and on Saturday it's trip to heaven,I can actually meet her.Ravi !! man you dont know how much she motivates me to go for Civil services exams, and you know what? I am doing good now.!!"
I just wondered how much has he changed in last 2 years.Is he the same guy who was too lethargic to make his own bed in the hostel(like me!!), who used to skip his meals, because you have to actually WALK from hostel to mess(mind you that was just 800 mtrs), and is he the same guy who always used to whine about life, people, things etc. And look at him today, his blissful smile has no complains,Life is beautiful for him.
If love has changed him, it has actually changed him for good.
As the dusk came, and sun was about to set that day, my mind enlightened.I thought "Isn't love actually the most wonderful phenomenon,quintessence of life.That's why it compelled thousands of poets, in hundreds of languages, to write about it.When you are in love, everything around you seems different, everything seems new.You wear a blissful smile, and your eyes glitter with awe.
Actually,Love is universal and omnipresent, and its not just for your other half.Look around, there is so much love everywhere..and in a way all of us share it somehow with someone ,love for family,friend, soulmate, country and even love for a pet."
All of us want to be loved,and so often we fuss about not being loved by the people who matter to you a lot.(At least I was one of that kind).
Once I read somewhere,
When you want to be loved, you need to learn to love yourself first.
It hit me, and I never fuss anymore. So just love yourself, embrace yourself, you will be loved more than ever.
So for those lucky ones who are in love, and for those who are in waiting( people like me) a wonderful thought:
Love is a gift from god, If u r in love, accept it, respect it & enjoy it. But if u r not, then don't worry because someone, somewhere is being wrapped up for u by god.

Cherio. :)
Ravi

Paradigm Shift

2009-04-15T19:59:00.000+05:30

This is the event which took place a few months back, and I guess it really taught me a good lesson.
Since I have got no conveyance in Indore, I have to travel a lot in the City Bus, and sometimes its too crowded, for a seat to be empty.
I was returning from Khajoori Bazaar where you have to go at least once in a semester, usually just before 1st midsems, to get books you will require in the whole semester (Which we hardly open before PL). Since Rajwada was the first stop, of the city bus I was supposed to travel, I expected it to be empty, but before I could get in, all seats were already occupied (there were bags, handkerchiefs etc as a token of reservations) except one.
As I was too tired, and badly wanted to sit, I rushed to that seat and occupied it immediately.
Soon More people rushed in, and there was no place to keep even a foot.
When bus was just about to start, an Uncle of about 40-45 years old, came to my seat. And as I am a tiny creature,a considerable portion of the my seat was empty.He took it and sat beside me. Now we two people were sitting on the same seat.
Before I could say something, he gave me a smile and said:"Kya bheed ho gyi hai aajkal buso mein"
I nodded and bus started.
I remember what my mind was thinking:

"ek aadmi ki seat par doosre kaise aa gye, jaroor baccha samajh ke baith gye, chalo baithe toh baithe kum se kum ek baar poochh toh lete"

As he saw books in my hand, he asked "engineering huh??"
I nodded again.
He asked which college??
I said "Vaishnav".
He said good.

As you know How roads in Indore are, In one jerk I lost another portion of the little seat I was left with, he smiled again.
As human mind is accustomed to,my mind started bashing him:

"Arre Ajeeb hai ye kyu muskura rhe hai!! khadoos kahin ke"

Then came the second jerk...
And I was almost left with no seat.
He adjusted him self and made room for me to sit, I reoccupied the previous portion.
And then this guy asked " Comfortable na??"

And my mind: "Kya aadmin hai yaar ek toh sari jagah le li upar se pooch rhe hai comfortable na!!, man toh kar rha hai abhi inko yaha se utha du"

Now he asked me "which year??"
I replied curtly- "2nd".

my mind: "Yeh kyu paka rha hai".

Now he asked me my name.
I replied briefly again,"Ravi".

my mind: "Ab inko naam jan ke kya karna hai, aur yeh itna kyu muskurate hai yaar!!"

In rest of the journey He didnt speak, I guess he noticed that i am not interested.

my mind: "accha hai ab bol nhi rhe"

Just before Palasia he said: "mera stop aa gya".

my mind: "Thank god!! Uncle itni courtesy toh hogi ki thank you bol doge".
He stood up and was staring me, as if wanted something.

My mind: " Ab kya chahiye yaar inko, jao na aapka stop aagya".

By seeing a puzzled gesture on my face he said:
"Beta aap jab yaha baithe hoge tab yaha ek blue poly bag hoga".

I was startled.
I replied "nhi toh" and as i said this, to my surprise and horror there was a little blue poly bag laying along the support of the seat.
He took the bag and before a word came out of my mouth he disappeared in the crowd.
All this time I was seating on the seat already occupied by him.
In the haste of occupying a seat, I missed that poly bag or may be it was of same color as seat back, so i didnt notice it.

During whole journey, I kept on bashing him mentally for taking my seat, but actually I was seating on his seat, and instead of bashing me, he shared it with all his heart, and with a smile.He didn't complain, not even in his mind.
and I also realized it wasn't him who had bigger share of seat, it was me.He was seating on just the edge.
I had made a bad paradigm of that kind soul, which just transformed immediately.
I couldn't even say a thank you.

This is what happens to us in life. We immediately make an image, or paradigm of people and things, which may not be true. Sometimes paradigm never shifts, and we keep living with those paradigms.
This taught me a lesson, never make instant paradigm of people and things, You may be wrong.
Always be careful when you judge people,because when you judge people, you judge yourself. - Anonymous
Cherio
Ravi

Real or Reverie

2009-04-14T18:51:00.001+05:30

Real or Reverie..
Have you ever observed so often, during our boring lectures we start making "castle of Spain" or "castle in air". Nodding to all the gestures made by lecturers, making them understand that you are getting everything what they are teaching, you are in world of your own. You may be contemplating memories of glowing past or your future fantasies. Your bright school days or your pre-post marriage plans, illusive jobs.
Soon lecture ends, and time of attendance comes. "Crash!!!!!!!"... your mind suddenly comes in the present, and you become wary that you dont miss your roll calls, after all this is why we all attend lectures.
Sages, and prudent people always teach to live in the moment and accept "now".Of what you are dreaming today, you will posses it tomorrow and you will dream of something else then. You will never be content. Why can't we appreciate what we have and always wander for something we don't have? and other question is -Is reality really acceptable to you? Is this really we all asked for? So often we close our eyes and deliberately not notice what today has to offer.
I dont know which way to go.. may be it will be all figured out someday and may be it won't. Till then, my tryst with the reveries will keep me occupied in the coming lectures.
Imagination is stronger than Knowledge- Albert Einstein
Cherio :)
Ravi

Beliefs

2009-04-14T17:12:00.000+05:30

Being a true aquarian from heart and soul, I am very adamant about my beliefs.As an aquarian, you are very inflexible about your beliefs.Beliefs are often some illogical conjectures, illusions, imaginations or perceptions which we believe to be true; which may not be. It takes a lot to change some one his deep rooted beliefs. All of us go through some life changing events, first thing these events do is they strongly attack to our adamant beliefs, and changes them forever.

Half of the life, I was cynical about life, relationships, world etc. Pessimism always took over my every good thing, from abilities to motives. It all changed when I saw my grandpa who had lethal cancer.Even though he was down with cancer, He greeted everyone who came to see him during his illness with smile. Every time I saw his eyes glittering with love,gratitude and hope. He always told me inspiring stories of his childhood.Those few last months of his life changed me forever. Now I started seeing life as a gift, rather then doubting things and abilities, I started appreciating life and its gifts.

One more belief I had was whomsoever I loved or cared for, I tend to be dependent on them. I always expected somethings from them,which when not fulfilled hurt me a lot. Soon life taught me "Expect best from the self but nothing from others",but on a very high cost!

Lastly, I had an inability, I couldn't let go. If something went wrong, I kept brooding over it. I just cant forget. I just kept lamenting about why such things happened to me, and this turned my world upside down. One thing led to another and another led to another, landed me to even a psychiatrist. My father realized it and once came up to me.. I still remember what he said to me in his mourning voice "Beta Sometimes Giving up is a better option.. you cant always fight. succumb to it.. Let go.. and things will turn out good some day.". However It took me more time to understand what it meant, and took me more time to implement it. but yes.. everything turned out good in the end.
Now my experience with life, tells me, never be rigid of your beliefs, The tighter you hold them, the more trouble they cause.
Flexible strong belief turns out to be unquestionable faith. - Anonymous
Cherio :)
Ravi